The Week In Review

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I've been super busy lately. What with "real" work from my classes setting in, trying to balance my homework with my job, and my hour-long commute (each way), I feel like I never stop long enough to catch my breath. So here's the important things that went down this week:

• Last Friday was Alex's birthday. Jimmy and I went to dinner and a few movies (hooray for movie-hopping!) and then headed up to the Upper East Side for her party. It was really fun, and it was so good to see everyone all in one place! I feel like we've all been so crazy with our busy lives that we've never really been able to all spend time together yet, so it was really good to see everybody. It was a late night for me, but definitely worth it.
• On Saturday, Richie, Gerard, and Jimmy came over for dinner. I love it when people come over (since it rarely happens, it's even nicer for me when they do). Richie and I had found a recipe for Turkey Swedish Meatballs that I had made for Rosh Hashanah, and he wanted to have it again. So we had Swedish meatballs, macaroni pie, and chocolate chip cookies. I think we'll probably all keel over soon from the cholesterol, but it sure was a good dinner.
• Sunday was football day, of course, so I headed over to Brittany Hall to do homework (which I barely did) and watch the games (which I did a lot of) with the boys. Plus, Chinese food!
• Monday through Thursday were pretty normal days. I've been really short on money this week (getting sick the same month you have to buy textbooks is a very bad thing) but other than that I was doing okay until...
• Friday. Friday was supposed to be payday for me. Unfortunately, I didn't receive a paycheck. Why, you ask? Well, apparently there was paperwork that I was supposed to fill out before the semester started so that I could continue to be paid through the work-study program. But no one, not my boss, not any of the three people who deal with paychecks, told me this. So I had no idea. Needless to say, I noticed on Friday when I didn't receive an email saying my check had been deposited. As of right now, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. I don't want to have to call my mom and ask her to front me the money for rent, but I don't know what else I can do. I've considered calling my landlord and explaining the situation, but that feels so immature. I'll get the check I'm owed by next pay period (on October 8), but I don't want to have to call him and say he can't cash my check until then. I'm really just frustrated because this isn't my fault at all, and now I'm the one having to stress about not having enough money to cover rent.
• Saturday was a pretty easy day. I considered doing homework, but instead watched Intervention (Have you seen it? You really should. It's excellent) and hung out with Richie. We went up to midtown to try to win lottery tickets to Next to Normal, since his friend Jess and a friend of hers were coming down, but unfortunately we weren't successful. We ended up just getting dim sum at Ruby Foo's. I then ended up just going home; there's been a lot of drama going on with some people here, and it all just kind of came to a head last night. I'm very frustrated and hurt by the whole situation, but there's nothing I can do about it, so I'm trying to just be adult about it and take the high road. Sigh. Some things never change.
• Anyway. Things here are good, for the most part. Classes are going well, and I'm feeling more confident about them. I'm making friends in my classes, too, which is really nice; I'm starting to feel connected to the people and the program, which isn't something I'm used to, but which I certainly like!
• In other news, I'm going to Maine over the Columbus Day weekend! Mom and Danny decided they wanted to go hike up a mountain (sometimes I don't know how I'm related to them...) so we've rented a cabin and found a park to explore. I was lured along with the promise of shopping, beautiful views, and lots of seafood. My mom knows just how to get to me.
• Well, that's about it for now. I'll try to post more regularly, but there's just so many other things going on!

Sick!

Well, this wasn't how I wanted to start off my junior year.

Classes started Tuesday, and I missed the first session of one of mine. Why, you ask? Because I was at the Student Health Center, being diagnosed with mononucleosis.

My tonsils and glands had been swollen for most of the weekend, and of course, being a holiday, everything was closed. So I went in on Tuesday morning to see a doctor.

The long and short of it is, I've had mono for probably around a month and a half or so. No wonder I've been feeling so run down and fatigued all the time! Finally, after so much time of me not doing anything about it, the virus kicked itself up to the next level and made me pay attention to it.

The doctor prescribed me a steroid (to bring down the swelling in my tonsils) and an antibiotic for my immune system. I've also been taking extra amino acids, vitamins, and Aleve in addition to my birth control. I've never in my life been on this many pills at once, and it makes me feel like an old woman who needs one of those labelled pill cases.

The biggest reason this has been such a drag, though, is that my tonsils are so swollen that they're affecting my swallowing (it hurts to swallow anything, even water) and my voice (I sound like Cher, or as Richie put it today, like Helen Keller). It sucks because I've been trying to introduce myself to people in my class, but I can't make my voice go much louder than a low whisper!

I'll write about my classes and everything later, but for now I need to go to bed and get some rest. This illness is kicking my butt!

So, I'm Not Afraid of People...

This post is going to come off as a little self-congratulatory, and maybe a bit high and mighty, and for that I'm sorry. Just know that I'm not trying to be a conceited brat.

So, I've dropped a pretty significant amount of weight in the last few months. It was never really a conscious decision, just something that happened more or less organically. But either way, I'm looking pretty good these days. (I think, anyway. I know some people will disagree with this, and that's fine, whatever. I feel good about myself and that's enough for me.)

I like this. It's weird sometimes, like when men on the subway stare at me or when construction workers catcall. But do those things make me feel bad or afraid or like I'm being unfairly objectified as a woman? Absolutely not. If anything, they make me feel a little bit better about myself. Blame it on a lack of self-confidence in my important early adolescent years, or a need for male validation because of my relationship with my father (seriously, I'm a psych major, I could give you reasons all day long), but at the end of the day I just feel like I'm being appreciated for the hard work I put in to look good. I also have a lot more self-confidence now than I used to. So I take it as a compliment.

I like compliments (uhm, duh). And do I care if they come from my mom or my boyfriend or my best friend or a coworker or a construction worker or a random stranger on the street? Not at all. To me, I see no difference between a construction worker catcalling and a girl telling me she loves my outfit. They're both telling me the same thing: that I look good, and I should know it.

Maybe it's because I believe that people are innately good and kind and not something I should be afraid of, but I love when strangers compliment me or even just talk to me. That's one of my favorite things, honestly. I'll have a conversation with a woman at the sinks in the ladies' room or a guy on the subway platform or a little kid in line in front of me at the grocery store or even the construction workers that catcall me. It probably has to do with my small-town background, where everyone I saw was someone I had known for years.

But living in New York isn't the same as living in a small town. People caution me all the time about being careful, about looking out for myself, about making sure I don't take the train alone at night. And I listen, usually. I don't go out actively seeking trouble. I'm smart enough to realize that if I'm going out with friends, I should make sure I have company to walk home. But have there been times where I need to get from Point A to Point B by myself in the middle of the night? Yep. And so I do.

There's a certain way that a girl should carry herself when she's alone at night in New York. You've got to walk with confidence and not make eye contact with anyone. I've found that pretending to have a conversation on the phone is a great plan, as is listening to an iPod. At the end of the day, though, if you don't go out actively looking for trouble, you're going to be fine. Very few people want to seriously hurt you, no matter what Law & Order may say. Random crimes are extremely rare.

But there's a very big difference between how you should behave on a dark street, alone, in the middle of the night, and how you can and should act the rest of the time. New Yorkers get a bad rap for being unfriendly, but I don't think that's true. I love talking to people, and I never feel like talking to them is a bad idea or something that'll put me in danger.

Is this bad advice for other girls to follow? I don't know. But I think that as long as you don't behave like an idiot, and you know how to handle yourself (and pick up a few hand-to-hand combat courses somewhere along the way: they're a great workout and you'll feel ten thousand times safer) you'll be fine. Don't be afraid of people. They won't hurt you unless you deserve it. And when those construction workers catcall you, don't take it personally. They do it to everyone.

A Requisite Social Dialogue.

Today, while at work (because it's not like I actually have anything to do here) I was reading this post on Jezebel regarding the ongoing debate about kids. I think this all started a while back when some parents (in Willamsburg, natch) brought their baby into a bar-type establishment. Since then, there's been a pretty consistent stream of posts on various sites giving opinions on the topic. The big question that seems to be dividing people is: Should parents be able to bring their kids wherever they want? This has gone from, let's be honest, the insanity of bringing your toddler with you to a crowded bar on a Friday night, to people saying that kids shouldn't really be allowed in restaurants or on public transportation (seriously).

Then of course you have the backlash, which is what this article focuses on. It features of lots of long quotes from one writer, who claims that trying to ban kids from certain places is ageism and discrimination, and should not be any more acceptable than telling someone they can't eat at your restaurant because they're a different race than you are.

Now really, people. Get a grip.

This situation makes me think of an amusement park, which is a place where children are accepted and even encouraged to go. There are a lot of rides at an amusement park. There are the big, scary roller coasters, with height requirements. You know why there are height requirements? For safety reasons. Because people below a certain height can absolutely not ride on the roller coaster safely. It's not because the people who run the park hate children and midgets, it's because this is an environment in which they are not safe and should not be in. It's a ride designed specifically for adults, which is meant to be enjoyed by adults.

And you know what they do at amusement parks? They have other rides. Rides that are safe for kids. So that way everyone can have fun.

Now, I don't have kids. And I won't for a long time. But I like kids, and I don't see anything wrong with having them around in restaurants, or walking down the street, or even chilling in the university building where I work (there are a lot of professors that have their kids around occasionally, and I think that's great). And there are a lot of places designed specifically for children: playgrounds, children's clothing stores, schools, etc.

So why can't there be some places that are for adults? If I go out to a club with my friends, I want to be able to get a little crazy without worrying about scarring the small child sitting there. It's not my responsibility at any time in my day-to-day life to curb my behavior because your child is around, and it's especially not my responsibility to look out for kids if I want to swear while I'm sitting in a bar. I don't have a problem with cleaning up my language if there's a kid sitting next to me on a subway, and I shush my friends who won't do the same. I think it's common courtesy to the parent. But don't bring your kid to an environment designed for adults and then get offended when people behave like adults.

That's what babysitters are for.

Highlight Reel

I know I haven't posted in a while (again)...there just either is absolutely nothing going on, or I'm so busy I don't have a moment for thought. Here's a lowdown on what's been going on lately:

• I painted my living room! It's green. Bright green. Like, almost neon. I love it, though, and luckily my roomies do too.
• I went to the Pride parade, and afterwards wandered through the PrideFest in the West Village. It was a lot of fun (though it was wicked hot that day), and we had a ball. I've never seen so many great-looking men in very little clothing all in one place before, and I've lived in NYC for almost two years (holy cow, has it really been that long?!?!?!)
• My mom and brother came down to the city to bring me my box spring, and we went to the Yankees/Mariners game. We had AMAZING seats, and the Yanks lost, so it was a great day. Not so great, however, was Danny's realization that he really hates NYC (like, more than we thought) and being all freaked out on the subway. He said he's never going to come visit me again, and it doesn't surprise me at all.
• I sprained my ankle last Friday night (me+ballet/gymnastics attempts=injuries; this is nothing new, and one would think I would've realized it by now) and spent my entire 4th of July long weekend alone in my apartment. Sigh. On the up side (actually, I don't know that this is something I should be broadcasting, but whatever), I watched every Judd Apatow movie in our house (this includes Superbad, Knocked Up, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall).
• Both my boss and my co-worker are gone this week, so I get to work 9-4 all week. Which means waking up at 7:30 in the morning. Have I mentioned I'm not a morning person? At all?
• Last Thursday Emma and I went to to get our nails done, and on the way back stopped in at a little consignment shop down the street. I found the most glorious alice+olivia dress I've ever seen, on sale, and I bought it. Happy Early Birthday to me!
• I'm going home in a little over a week, and I can't wait. Four days of celebrating my birthday and lounging at the lake. It's going to be magnificent.
• My ex-teacher (and moving helper) Ms. Jenson got married! Congrats!
• I saw Eclipse (illegally online, of course). Best line: Taylor Lautner tells Robert Pattinson "After all, I am hotter than you." That was the only redeeming part of the film, honestly. That and Kellan Lutz.

Well that's really about all the interesting news in these parts. I'll post more when I come up with an interesting topic (or the next time I'm super bored).

A New Project

Once again, I'm quite short on topics.

I've even gone so far as to Google search "Topics to Blog About"...and I found this list.

I fully plan on writing about each one of these topics at some point over the summer. So here goes.

1. The Story of My Most Serious Injury

This is actually pretty difficult to decide on. I've had a lot of pretty bad spills in my day (which is to be expected, considering I'm pretty much the clumsiest person ever) but there are two that stick out as being the worst. So I'll write about both of them!

The first was on Memorial Day of 2004, when I was in eighth grade. My mom, brother, and I had taken a trip to the drive-in movie theater the night before to see a double feature. In the wee hours of the morning, as we were packing up to leave, I was trying to make my way out of the open hatch of the Jeep. Danny, sitting behind me, decided to kick me, and I fell headfirst out of the car. I put my arms out to catch myself, and ended up dislocating my left elbow. It didn't hurt too badly at first, but as we were making our way towards the hospital, it started to throb. We got to the hospital, woke up whatever doctor was on duty that night in the emergency room, and had him take X-rays of the injury.

It seemed to take forever, and no one seemed to hear me when I told them how much it hurt (that's my biggest problem with hospitals: everyone there is so used to hearing people say that they're in pain that they're deaf to it). Finally, the X-rays came back and showed that my elbow was dislocated (which I had told them half an hour before, and which they could have verified by looking at the fact that my forearm was above my elbow joint) and the doctor decided it was time to reset it. He asked me if I wanted the medium strength or extra strength pain medication, and since I'm a sissy, I said the extra strength. They had to give it to me through a shot in my butt (TMI, I'm sorry) and I started feeling the effects pretty quickly.

Now, for whatever reason, the doctor had decided that right after he gave me the pain meds, he would take my mom outside the room to discuss insurance or the procedure or something. All I remember is lying on the table and starting to feel really woozy. I told Danny (who was sitting next to me) that I was feeling sleepy and he started telling me that I couldn't go to sleep, that no matter what I had to stay awake (I think he confused my injury with a concussion). But finally I did get knocked all the way out, and they reset the arm (thank goodness I wasn't awake for it, because from what my mom said I probably would have thrown up).

The recovery wasn't really that bad, but it did knock me out of the rest of softball season. Oh well. I became a very knowledgeable scorekeeper.

The second injury was my senior year of high school, near the end of volleyball season. I was in practice one night, scrimmaging with the other half of the team. I went for the ball at the same time as my teammate, and I ended up flying over top of her and landing -crunch- on my left ankle. I spouted a few choice expletives, which apparently my teammates all took to mean that I was joking around (it probably didn't help that I was giggling, which is always my first response to pain). When they realized I was serious, they all came over to help me. A lot of hugging, supporting, and wheelchair riding later, I ended up at the hospital, where my mom and I spent a solid three hours waiting around for someone to look at it. It ended up that I was the victim of a very bad sprain, and that I would have to be on crutches for at least a few weeks.

Now, I hate crutches. Sure, I always liked to play with other peoples', but having them is awful. I like being able to move, and get up and down stairs, and play volleyball, especially in my senior year.

I lucked out in the end, though, because I was supposed to be sitting out for our senior game, but the forces of nature combined with my orthopedist (who I think is getting tired of seeing me, to be honest) to give me a rescheduled game and the opportunity to play! Hooray!

I don't know how interesting these stories are to anyone but me, but maybe at some point I'll write about my experiences with Vicodin from these two injuries. Those are always good for a laugh.

Moving

Wow. I feel like I haven't slowed down for almost a week.

Last weekend was crazy busy- my mom and Ms. Jenson came down to help me move most of my stuff to the new apartment. I'm really thankful that they did (because I never would have been able to do it myself, and also because we had a lot of fun)!

They arrived around 7:00 on Friday night, and we unloaded the bed that they had brought. Then we decided to go back to Manhattan (a trip that should have taken half an hour, but ended up taking two hours- the GPS really lied to us). We found a place to park, dropped their bags off at my dorm, and went to dinner at Spice. After that, we took the subway to the Empire State Building, where Ms. Jenson had never been, and I hadn't been since I was much younger. It was absolutely gorgeous to see all of the city spread out like that, at night, with the bright lights shining. We then went back to my dorm and went to sleep, preparing for the long day to come.

After a leisurely brunch on Saturday morning, we loaded up the car with a lot of my stuff and drove it over to Brooklyn. I had hoped that we would be able to fit everything in one trip, but unfortunately it just didn't work out (our new car is smaller than the Jeep was). After a lot of heaving, carrying, and sweating, we got everything unloaded and headed back to Manhattan for another trip. This was, thankfully, the last one. Once absolutely everything was unloaded and moved into the new place, we set to assembling the bed.

Now, I really, really, really hate assembling furniture when I don't have directions. I think my aversion to it began when I was in sixth or seventh grade and I got a new desk. I was bound and determined to put it together all by myself, with no help from anyone. Three hours, two pinched fingers, and a lot of scratches later, I had a desk. And I've never taken it apart and put it back together, mostly because while it's not exactly picture-perfect, I did it myself.

I can put together a chair, or a table, if I have clear directions (in English!) and all of the proper pieces and hardware lined up in a neat little row by when I will use them. But this bed...None of the hardware that came with it actually worked in assembly, and it was necessary to make two separate trips to two separate hardware stores to put it together.

But finally, it was done. And my room felt like a room, since I had a bed with sheets on it.

Mom then took me grocery shopping, and we came back and unpacked some more stuff. She and Ms. Jenson left, and I headed back to Manhattan, where I was still sleeping.

Sunday consisted of going back to Brooklyn and doing a lot more unpacking. I hung up my clothes, set up my desk, and Emma showed me how to use my keys (I'm absolutely horrible with keys). I was so busy that I forgot to eat until I got back to Manhattan at about 5:30, and then I was starving. So I went to Chipotle for dinner. But I was still hungry. So I, in my brilliance, decided to order S'mac (macaroni and cheese).

That was a bad idea.

I woke up on Monday morning feeling like I was going to die. I felt so horrible that I ended up calling in sick to work, something I had never done before- in all the time I've been working, at any job I've ever had, I've never called in sick. Ever. I didn't even get out of bed until about 1:30, when Richie came over. We went to the Student Health Center, and then back to his place for lunch. I had a salad, which was a good plan.

The rest of my day pretty much consisted of going over to Brooklyn to pick up some clothes, studying, and making dinner.

Yesterday, Tuesday, was a really busy day as well. I worked/studied until about 3:00, and then headed back to the dorm to...continue studying. I went to Richie's and hung out with him and Jordan for a while, and then went to 194 Mercer to take my Statistics final.

I had been convinced that it was going to be pretty difficult, but our professor told us that of the 23 questions on the exam, we could omit any six of our choosing.

So the exam that I had been studying and preparing for all day ended up taking me less than half an hour. Crazy!

I then met up with Richie, and we headed over to The Noho Star to have dinner with Ella and her mom, who was visiting from Israel. The food was delicious, and it was so nice to meet Mrs. Metuki! She was extremely sweet, and seemed really interested in getting to know us. I love parents. :-)

We left the restaurant at about 10:45, and headed back to Richie's to hang out with Dan, Constance, Jordan, and Sydney. It was nice to spend some time with people before summer officially started, and we were there until well past 1 AM.

I woke up this morning preparing to do most of my packing, and then check out of UHall after work. But as I was eating my cereal and watching Glee at about 10:45 (still in my pajamas, mind you), my doorbell rang. The conversation that followed went pretty much like this:

I open the door to see a short guy with a clipboard standing there.

Him: "Hi, I just wanted to let you know that you need to be out of here by noon."

Me: "I thought I had until noon tomorrow, since I'm graduating and participating in commencement."

Him: "Well, commencement is going on right now, so obviously you're not." (This is true, actually. I hadn't done my research, and commencement apparently started at 9:00 this morning. So that one's on me.)

Me: "I thought I at least had until 24 hours after my last final." (This is a rule! NYU's own policy!) "My last final was last night at 7:30 PM."

Him: "Yeah, that was the rule. But not anymore. If you don't check out by noon, we're going to charge you for staying here."

Me: "But that's not right!"

Him: "Hey, this is the way it is."

Me: "Fine."

And I shut the door in his face.

I swear, I am so glad I'm never going to have to deal with NYU Housing again. The people are just all kinds of rude, and they care more about getting me out of there six hours earlier than about my personal situation. They had no reason to force me to pack up all of my things in 45 minutes (which I did, since I didn't want to be late for work) and kick me out. I was very rude to the girl that checked me out, and I know it wasn't her fault, but honestly. How ridiculous.

I'm just glad that Richie's staying in summer housing, therefore they're not kicking him out yet. All of my stuff that needs to go to Brooklyn is currently at his place, waiting until I get out of work. If he wasn't staying, I would have had to bring my entire suitcase to work with me, or be forced to pay NYU more money to leave my things in my room for an extra few hours.

Did I leave the suite in mint condition? No. I didn't have time to clean as well as I would have liked (something I had planned on doing before I checked out tonight) and I was forced to throw some things away that otherwise would have gone to Goodwill. But I think the fact that I was forced out of my room with an hour and fifteen minutes' notice is absurd.

But now I'm at work, finally taking a breather for once. I'm going to bring everything to the new place once I'm done here, and then do nothing for the rest of the day. Seriously. I'm going to lie in my new bed and watch TV online and sleep. I deserve it.

A Few Words On Lady Gaga

Full disclosure first: I am supposed to be writing a literature review for my Psych class right now. But as it often does, the Internet sucked me into its dark abyss with incredible strength, and I found myself reading a blog post by a former friend. I don't look this person up often (in fact, I believe this is the first time I have done so), but for some reason I was tempted to see what she has been up to. A few keystrokes and clicks later, I found myself reading a post she had written regarding a recent Cosmopolitan article on Lady Gaga. And found myself becoming more and more frustrated by what she had written with each sentence.

Now, I don't read Cosmo often. I pick it up every few months if it catches my eye at the grocery store, and I flip through it, reading the sex stories and fashion tips. But this person is a subscriber. She receives the magazine each month, reads it cover to cover, and comments on many of the articles to those around her. So she undoubtedly knows more about the magazine than a casual reader such as myself.

Apparently, this month's issue features Lady Gaga on the cover, and includes a photo spread and a short interview. I'll admit, I have not read this article or anything from this issue, but from my experience (reading previous issues of Cosmo as well as articles and photo spreads in other magazines featuring Lady Gaga), and from reading this person's review of the article, I think I know the gist of what the article contains: Gaga talking to the reporter about how it's important to be yourself and be comfortable in your own skin, how sexual freedom is okay, and how women should celebrate themselves and their bodies.

Good for her.

I honestly think Gaga is one of the most important artists of our time. She makes incredible music that is almost universally appealing (I think the only person I know that doesn't care for her music is my brother- though this could have something to do with the fact that I go to a university that is predominately "gays and girls") and she sends a wonderful message to her fans, especially the younger ones. The idea of being yourself, being comfortable with your weirdness, is something that's taken me quite a long time to adjust to. I wonder if my own self-acceptance would have been easier if, when I was thirteen, the biggest pop star in the world was preaching a message of self-love.

Gaga is a fashion symbol, with photos of her outfits constantly circling the Internet. Say what you will about her wackier choices (the Kermit dress among them), but she is never afraid to make a statement. Her Grammy outfit, by Versace, was one of the most talked-about pieces of the awards show season, and her use of Alexander McQueen in the "Bad Romance" video helped give the designer massive brand recognition, especially of the "armadillo" shoe.

Gaga's performances are nothing short of legendary, with each redesign of her "Monster Ball" tour (currently in Europe) raising the bar higher and higher in terms of creativity and possibility. And awards shows have her to thank, at least in part, for the ratings boost they've enjoyed this season. Once her VMA performance aired, she became a huge draw for every show.

The post that I read about the Cosmo article argued that Gaga is the most influential musician of all time. I believe that this is a bit crazy. Although I would never want to demean Gaga's impact on mainstream society, she may be popular now, but she hasn't yet proven herself to have the kind of longevity that makes her deserving of that title.

I suppose the thing that really got to me about this post, though, is the self-righteous tone that the author took. She complained about the brevity of the Gaga article and lamented the fact that the photos in the spread were not outlandish enough, claiming that they made Gaga seem to be just another "blonde bombshell". I saw the photos on the Cosmo website (you can find them here), and while they aren't her most incredible, I still think that Gaga's personal style was preserved (I mean really, look at that mask!), while toning down some of the more extreme aspects for a mainstream audience. Not even Gaga wants to wear latex dresses and obscenely heavy hats every time she does a photoshoot.

There's no reason to complain about these photos, or to be upset that many articles were longer than Gaga's interview. You subscribe to this magazine. You read it every month. You ought to recognize by now that you are paying not to read the in-depth personal stories of celebrities, but rather the latest sex updates and makeup tips. At the end of the day, I suppose what I'm trying to say is, stop your whining.

So tonight, on the eve of the "Telephone" music video premiere, I say to you, Gaga: You go, girl. Don't let anyone bring you down.

A Tough One

This has been one of the worst weekends for me, personally, that I've ever had.

And it's only Saturday.

I haven't been outside in two days, even though today was gorgeous and pretty warm (from what weather.com told me).

I've eaten very little and spoken in person to no one but my suitemate (who left yesterday afternoon for home), my RA (in the elevator) and the Domino's delivery guy.

Why the hermit-like behavior, you ask?

Well, it didn't start out with me wanting to do this. I had Friday off from work, and I was actually planning on getting a bunch of stuff done. But I woke up feeling worse than I have in years. I don't get sick, ever, but when I do, I get very sick. I had the flu. I was throwing up, had a horrible headache...the whole bit. I did nothing but nap, watch TV, and drink orange juice.

This, of course, was not how I like spending a day. But I figured I would make it up to myself today, and go uptown, maybe to a museum. I haven't been to the Met in a while, and I like to go a few times each semester. Plus, I always feel like I'm cheating myself when I don't take advantage of living in Manhattan, so this was going to be my payback.

So I got up this morning, did my laundry, and prepared for a good day. I still wasn't feeling 100% healthy, but I'm lucky in that I recover from illnesses fast, and I was pretty confident that I would be up to a trip uptown.

But then I checked my email.

The RA position that I had applied for, been through training for, dreamed about, planned activities for already? Yeah. I didn't get it.

Needless to say, I was heartbroken.

This RA position was what I had been putting all of my hopes on. NYU is an obscenely expensive school, far too expensive for me, and the housing and dining grant that comes with the RA position was going to be my way of continuing my education here. And it's not even all about the money. I was looking forward to being able to be an influence on kids just starting at NYU, to helping people, to giving something back to the ResLife system that has done pretty well by me.

Technically, I didn't get denied. I'm on their "alternate list" which means that they "think I would make a fine staff member, but couldn't offer me a position at this time". But it feels like a rejection.

It's especially hard because everyone else I've heard from that also went through the RALI process got offered positions. So I don't know what I did or didn't do that made the difference.It's also really hard because most of the people that I know that have been offered positions don't really need it. I know that they want to do it, and I'm sure they're going to be great RAs, but this position, for me, was going to mean so much, in terms of whether or not I can even be here next year.

I'm really at a loss right now as to what I'm going to do next year. I really hope I can figure something out that will allow me to stay at NYU, but if I don't, I don't know what I'm going to be doing come fall.

So anyway, I called my mother, spoke briefly to Richie, and then put my pajamas back on. I ordered Domino's (I'm a stress eater- I crave carbs especially when I'm really anxious- and did you know that Domino's will bring you chicken alfredo in a bread bowl?), sat down in front of the TV, and watched Mythbusters for hours. I'm currently watching The Incredibles. And I have no shame about it.

I feel like every step of the college process for me has been such a struggle. From senior year of high school, making the decision to mortgage my future on an NYU education; to freshman year, with the intense struggles with friends and my own anxieties; to working so hard to make it back this year, and having every penny I earn go right back to NYU...I feel like I ought to be due for some kind of good fortune. Does working so hard for this education make me appreciate it more than the kids who are able to have their parents just write a check for their tuition balances? Of course. But sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. I see these kids with their $3000 computers, $500 bags, and that go to Zurich for their sweet sixteens and Berlin for nineteenth birthdays (no lie, these people exist) and I just wish that they would recognize that their complaints about how their moms "only let me get an apartment if it was, like, less than ten grand a month, it's, like, so not fair, you know?" are ridiculous.

Sigh.

So I really hope tomorrow doesn't get worse. Because really, I can't take any more at this point. How about giving me a good day, universe? Please?

OMG IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!1!!!!11

Wow.

People are crazy when it comes to weather.

A completely un-scientific survey of Facebook status updates this morning showed that an obscene amount of people were shocked and appalled by the fact that it is snowing in February (I define obscene as "if I read one more update about the fact that it's snowing, I will no longer be your friend").

Guess what, people? Here's a weather lesson for you.

I'm assuming that if you're reading this, you are located somewhere within the Northeastern section of the United States (the majority of people I know live in this area).

It is currently February. This is what is know as "winter" in the Northern hemisphere.

During this "winter", temperatures are lower than at other times of the year. (This is due to the tilt of the Earth's axis and other scientific mumbo-jumbo that you should have learned in 9th grade Earth Science.)

This drop in temperature causes changes in the weather. Therefore, precipitation that might have been rain during another time of year (such as "summer") freezes and becomes what is known as "snow".

There's a lot of other stuff, about low-pressure systems and Canadian winds, but the long and short of it is this: You live in the Northeast. It is February. STOP BEING SHOCKED THAT IT'S COLD AND SNOWY!

[I apologize for the rudeness...but really, people? Weather is not that hard to understand.]

An Open Letter to NYU Housing

Dear NYU Housing,

You are a fickle bitch. You give me something nice, and then just when I'm getting used to my good fortune, take it away. Is this because I didn't want to spend an extra $2000 to ensure that I'd have a room to myself for the next three months?

This is nothing against my future roommate; I'm sure she's a lovely girl and we'll get along just fine. But really? I loved the idea that I could have people stay over whenever. I loved having random dance parties with myself at 3 AM. I loved never having to use headphones. I loved not worrying about turning a light on when I got in late at night.

I want to love you. And you've been good to me in the past. You've provided me with housing in Manhattan for almost two years so far. I'm hoping you'll be good to me in the future, and let me be an RA.

But right now, we're not on speaking terms.

[Updated, 2/12/10]: So now I'm not getting a new roommate? After moving all of my stuff around? And cleaning like a bandit? And moving all of my posters to the other side of the room? RUDE.

Requisite Ranting

Okay people. Let's get real here.

Teen pregnancy is not cool. I don't care how many MTV shows they make or how many cute baby shirts you buy. Having a baby when you're barely a legal adult (or still legally a child!) is a bad idea.

It seems as though every day, I hear about another friend from elementary school that's had a kid or gotten married (typically just the former, but occasionally the latter follows). How ridiculous is that? I tell my friends at college that I have a ton of friends with children, and they look at me like I've got two heads. It's hard for them to fathom a community where that's okay, accepted, and even embraced! At this rate, I'm going to be one of a very small minority at a ten-year reunion without a kid in second or third grade. Maybe by that point I'll have an infant. Maybe.

I talked to my mom last night, and heard that another girl from my town has ended up pregnant at a very young age. And that's when it hit me. It's not "something in the water". It's that we grew up in a town where there is absolutely nothing to do, and we received no sex education whatsoever. You know what they teach in health classes? Abstinence is drilled into us, and then we watch a short video from the 70s that talks about pregnancy prevention. But there is an overwhelming feeling that it's abstinence or nothing. And that's obviously not working. I can't even count the amount of my peers, people that I've known since elementary school, that are now parents.

I know that some of them are extremely happy with their lives. And I think that's amazing. But I wonder if they realize what they gave up. The possibility of travel, or college, or actually having enough time to grow up and learn about themselves and who they are and what it means to be an adult.

Could I take care of a baby? If it came to that, probably. I would work 40+ hours per week and live with my mom. I would be able to provide for my child. But would I be the kind of parent that my child deserves? I don't think so. I don't know myself well enough to be able to give my all to another person.

And don't get me wrong. I love kids. I can't wait until I get married and have kids. But is it a responsible decision at this point in my life, or at any point within at least the next 7 years? No way. I want to have an established career, a home, enough money to know that I can buy the stroller and the toys and the books that my child deserves for their health and happiness and future. I want to be in a rock-solid marriage that I know for certain will last, because my child doesn't deserve having to go through the pain of divorced parents.

That's really it. It just makes me sick to keep hearing about more babies.

[insert title]

Well Week 2 of classes is over, and it was a pretty good one.

I'm still trying to get used to this whole blogging thing. I've tried having a blog before, but I just never felt that I had anything interesting enough to say that people would actually want to take the time to read. But it seems to be a really beneficial thing for a lot of people I know, so I figure I might as well keep on going instead of abandoning it (as I've done with blogs many times before).

So...yeah this is the part of the post in which I'm lost as to what I should be writing.

What did I do today? Let's see. I got up and went to work. I really can't stress enough how lucky I feel that I have this job. My boss is just excellent, and SO easygoing. I can basically come in whenever I like and leave whenever I like, and he's always telling me to take it easy and relax because I work so hard. I feel more pampered at work than I do anywhere else! Plus it doesn't hurt that there's always free food around Courant. Honestly, I think I've eaten on NYU's dime three times this week. There are just always conferences and meetings going on where they set out huge spreads of sandwiches and fruit and soda in the hallways, and then when they have less people than expected (because really, it's a MATH conference people) they tell me to take as much as I like, and don't I want a cookie, and take another can of soda for later.

So I went to work and made copies and took phone calls and other basic boring work-type-stuff...and then I left around 2 to go deliver mail. This is the only part of my job that I really just don't like. Especially on a day like today.

Today was so cold! I know that it was normal temperature for winter, but it felt way colder than it should have been. The fact that Manhattan is basically a series of wind tunnels doesn't help, either.

But I went to deliver a bunch of mail. A lot of it was normal everyday stuff, but there were some invitations to a formal function that had to be hand-delivered. A lot of them go to Dean's offices, most of which are located in the buildings along Washington Square North (the picture above is of the buildings there; it wasn't snowy today, but it was certainly that cold!).

The insides of these buildings are gorgeous. They've got these beautiful staircases and old-fashioned elevators and really high ceilings. The film I Am Legend was shot there, and the houses themselves would be amazing to live in. I always love when I get to deliver stuff there, because going into these houses makes me feel like a little kid going into a big adult store. Also, people rarely go in or out of the houses, so people always think I'm on some important business when they see me heading in or leaving.

My last delivery was for the NYU Abu Dhabi chairman. They have offices here in the city, and these offices are also really stunning to look at. They're extremely modern, which is strange considering the overwhelming design of the building they're located in is old-fashioned. But you walk in and it's just this extremely light, airy, modern chrome-and-glass decor that NYU loves so much (and that I really love as well).

I finally got paid today (hooray!) so I went to the bookstore and bought my Italian book. Sigh. All of my money that I get from NYU goes right back to them. I feel like it shouldn't even make a pit stop in my bank account.

I got an e-mail from Housing that said I could ensure no one would be moving into my room by paying an additional $2000. I think I'm just going to risk it and take my chances.

And then LSP sent a mass e-mail saying (and it really was written like this): THE LAST DAY TO APPLY FOR AN ASSOCIATE'S DEGREE IS TODAY!!! IF YOU DON'T APPLY TODAY YOU CANNOT RECEIVE YOUR ASSOCIATE'S DEGREE!!!

Now, maybe I'm being a bit judgmental here, but the tone of that email seems to imply that they had mentioned graduation applications before. At least a few times. But this was the first that ANYONE had heard of this. So of course, people were freaking out (it didn't help that they put incorrect instructions in their e-mail and no one could figure out how to actually apply). And, brilliance above all, they made the default reply-to address the LSP listserve. Which meant that every time someone hit reply on this email, EVERY SINGLE PERSON in LSP got their email.

So I spent a solid 20 minutes explaining to people how to apply for graduation (really, it wasn't that hard to figure out) and received at least 45 emails from people I'd never met about why should they get an associate's and how should they apply, etc.

Ridiculous.

Then I made dinner...tomato basil chicken with garlic and angel hair. I eat more angel hair than any person ever should. But it's just so good!

Well that's really about it...I guess I found something to write about after all :-)

[note: This is an edited version, because I realized when I reread it that there was a typo. Horrendous.]

What? Classes?

So school started this week. Like, actual school. Classes and stuff.

Here's the rundown:

-Introduction to Psychology and Its Applications: AMAZING. WAY TOO AMAZING FOR WORDS. Okay, I'll calm down. But seriously. This is the class that's "introducing" me to the stuff I'll be studying for god-only-knows-how-long and then actually working with...and it's so excellent. The very first class, we talked about how race is portrayed and perceived in the media and in the general population. It's all stuff that would be extremely boring to anyone who wasn't crazy about AppPsych, but luckily it's exactly the stuff I'm most interested in, and I wake up excited to go to class. Imagine that. Me, excited to go to a 9:30 AM class. But I realize now how awesome it is to actually be going to school for what you want to be doing with your life (for the first time EVER)...and it's fucking amazing.

-Intro Italian: Pretty excellent. Mi profesore sei molto bene, e...yeah that's all I've got so far. But there's a good vibe in the class, and I've made a good friend there already so I'm excited about this one too. Plus, languages have always come pretty easily to me, so it'll be another pretty easy one. The only downside is that every time I have class, I have to get from Silver to 12th Street (between 5th and 6th) in 15 minutes...but Tuesdays I walk with Richie so it's cool.

-Topics in Modern Society -- Human Rights and Societies at Risk: My very last LSP requirement ever. Thank goodness. It's okay...we've only had one session so far but the professor is really passionate about the topic and she seems pretty cool...My assignment for next Wednesday is to do one unusual act of kindness. I like this coursework already. Honestly, I think this is going to be the class that makes me not want to get up and go in the morning, but I just need to get it out of the way so I can finally be done with LSP!

-Basic Statistics Using SPSS: Ugh. Thank goodness this class is only one night per week. The professor seems nice, and the work is easy (honestly, software isn't hard for me to figure out, since I'm pretty computer-literate) but it's just the idea of sitting in front of a computer screen for two hours and forty minutes (no lie) and learning how to input numbers in a program that makes me hate it. But it's a APUG requirement, so I suppose I'll just have to make do.

Overall, this semester should be a pretty solid one for me. None of the classes look terribly difficult, and I'm glad to be finishing LSP and getting some of my APUG requirements out of the way at the same time. It's also nice that I've only got 15 credits this semester (which is fine, since I'm technically at Junior standing since I came to NYU with a full semester's credit under my belt already) so I've got more time to work...I'm currently putting in about 25 hours per week (which makes each biweekly paycheck roughly 520 bucks)...which is really going to help with this semester's massive tuition bill. Sigh. I hate not having money.

In other news, it's been a beautiful week to get back into the swing of things here. I've seen everyone by now (more or less) and I've been able to get used to my hours at work. This weekend should be a good one...everyone's back, finally, so there should be fun times to be had by all. I'll keep you posted. ;-)