The Week In Review

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I've been super busy lately. What with "real" work from my classes setting in, trying to balance my homework with my job, and my hour-long commute (each way), I feel like I never stop long enough to catch my breath. So here's the important things that went down this week:

• Last Friday was Alex's birthday. Jimmy and I went to dinner and a few movies (hooray for movie-hopping!) and then headed up to the Upper East Side for her party. It was really fun, and it was so good to see everyone all in one place! I feel like we've all been so crazy with our busy lives that we've never really been able to all spend time together yet, so it was really good to see everybody. It was a late night for me, but definitely worth it.
• On Saturday, Richie, Gerard, and Jimmy came over for dinner. I love it when people come over (since it rarely happens, it's even nicer for me when they do). Richie and I had found a recipe for Turkey Swedish Meatballs that I had made for Rosh Hashanah, and he wanted to have it again. So we had Swedish meatballs, macaroni pie, and chocolate chip cookies. I think we'll probably all keel over soon from the cholesterol, but it sure was a good dinner.
• Sunday was football day, of course, so I headed over to Brittany Hall to do homework (which I barely did) and watch the games (which I did a lot of) with the boys. Plus, Chinese food!
• Monday through Thursday were pretty normal days. I've been really short on money this week (getting sick the same month you have to buy textbooks is a very bad thing) but other than that I was doing okay until...
• Friday. Friday was supposed to be payday for me. Unfortunately, I didn't receive a paycheck. Why, you ask? Well, apparently there was paperwork that I was supposed to fill out before the semester started so that I could continue to be paid through the work-study program. But no one, not my boss, not any of the three people who deal with paychecks, told me this. So I had no idea. Needless to say, I noticed on Friday when I didn't receive an email saying my check had been deposited. As of right now, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. I don't want to have to call my mom and ask her to front me the money for rent, but I don't know what else I can do. I've considered calling my landlord and explaining the situation, but that feels so immature. I'll get the check I'm owed by next pay period (on October 8), but I don't want to have to call him and say he can't cash my check until then. I'm really just frustrated because this isn't my fault at all, and now I'm the one having to stress about not having enough money to cover rent.
• Saturday was a pretty easy day. I considered doing homework, but instead watched Intervention (Have you seen it? You really should. It's excellent) and hung out with Richie. We went up to midtown to try to win lottery tickets to Next to Normal, since his friend Jess and a friend of hers were coming down, but unfortunately we weren't successful. We ended up just getting dim sum at Ruby Foo's. I then ended up just going home; there's been a lot of drama going on with some people here, and it all just kind of came to a head last night. I'm very frustrated and hurt by the whole situation, but there's nothing I can do about it, so I'm trying to just be adult about it and take the high road. Sigh. Some things never change.
• Anyway. Things here are good, for the most part. Classes are going well, and I'm feeling more confident about them. I'm making friends in my classes, too, which is really nice; I'm starting to feel connected to the people and the program, which isn't something I'm used to, but which I certainly like!
• In other news, I'm going to Maine over the Columbus Day weekend! Mom and Danny decided they wanted to go hike up a mountain (sometimes I don't know how I'm related to them...) so we've rented a cabin and found a park to explore. I was lured along with the promise of shopping, beautiful views, and lots of seafood. My mom knows just how to get to me.
• Well, that's about it for now. I'll try to post more regularly, but there's just so many other things going on!

Battle of the Boroughs!

I've been living in Brooklyn for about two months now, and I've really grown to love it. But do I love it more than my first NYC home, Manhattan? Well, let's count up the points and see.

• Monthly housing & food costs: Brooklyn (rent, utilities, and food): ~$850. Manhattan (housing, meal plan, and additional food): ~$2200. Obviously, Brooklyn takes this point.
• Transit time to class/work: Brooklyn:40 minutes each way, on the subway. Manhattan: 15 minute walk. Manhattan wins.
• Monthly transit cost: Brooklyn: $89 (unlimited MetroCard). Manhattan: ~$15 (pay-per-ride). This is a tricky one, because while it's obviously more expensive to buy a monthly unlimited card, it allows me to ride the subway and not have to pay more than I normally would. This point has to go to Manhattan, though.
• Living arrangements: Brooklyn: My own room, full kitchen, dining room, and living room. Manhattan: Sharing a room, kitchen, living room. Point to Brooklyn, hands down. I actually have a kitchen more than one person can be in at a time, I don't have to worry about keeping someone up late at night with me, and I have enough personal space that I don't feel like I'm going to strangle someone all the time.
• Security: Brooklyn: Two locked doors. Manhattan: Security guard downstairs, guests must be signed in. Point to Manhattan, because while it's a pain, I always felt safe (which is not to say that I don't feel safe in my apartment, but seriously, there isn't a guy downstairs making sure no randoms get in).
• Ease of getting people in: Brooklyn: Go open the door. Manhattan: If they're NYU and live in housing, go open the door. If not, though, it's a pain in the ass. Point to Brooklyn.
• Decorating possibilities: Brooklyn: Pretty much anything I want. My own furniture, paint, put holes in the walls, basically do anything I want as long as I can make it all okay by the time I move out. Manhattan: I could put things on the walls! Point to Brooklyn, obviously. I really hate white walls.
• Company: Brooklyn: Two super-chill, awesome roomies who agree with most of my philosophies (i.e., we all usually hate living with girls because of all the unnecessary drama, there's never a bad reason to have a party, certain people are just not worth all the stress they inflict on the people around them, margaritas go perfectly well with lasagna), but who I don't have to share a room with. Manhattan: Totally hit-or-miss. I've had really cool roommates, and then I've had roommates from hell. Another point to Brooklyn.

So, let's tally it up, shall we?

Manhattan: 3

Brooklyn: 5

I guess I made the right choice after all.

My Wish List

Everyone has a little wish list of things that they love, and I'm no different. Once in a while I'll do some online window shopping, and I've cultivated a few things that I really love and would buy if I had any disposable income whatsoever.

But, I always seem to forget about this list when my birthday or Christmas rolls around! Neither is coming up (my birthday isn't until July) but I think I'll share a few of my dream items with you now. :)

The first is this lovely umbrella. It's $38 on the MOMA website. I know $38 for an umbrella sounds ridiculous, but honestly, in Manhattan, an umbrella is one of your most important investments. Maybe it's not needed all the time, but when it is, you'd better not be without it (considering I walk an average of 60 blocks per day, it's extremely important to be able to stay dry on those rainy days). And since my last umbrella bit the dust (breaking completely in half while I was in the middle of crossing 4th Avenue), I'm in the market for a new one. I'm tired of buying $10 drugstore umbrellas, only to have them not be sturdy enough for the gusts of wind that typify NYC rainy days. This one is excellent quality, plus it changes color in the rain (the splotches start off white, and become colorful when they get wet)! But I just can't justify paying that much for an umbrella for myself. So if someone decided they wanted to be super-nice and buy it for me...well, that would be just wonderful!

The second item on my wishlist is a Microsoft Courier. Now, technically it hasn't been released yet, but I know that when it comes out, I will be drooling over it for days. Say what you will about the iPad, but I'm a PC girl, and this thing is SO COOL. I've been checking every so often for a release date, or at least some new information on it, and Microsoft is apparently being very tight-lipped over the whole thing. I know it's going to be obscenely expensive, but the fact of the matter is...I want one!

The third item is rather predictable, I'm afraid. I will, before I die, own a pair of Christian Louboutin heels. Come hell or high water, I will have some of those red-soled beauties on my feet. It's almost enough to make me want to become a celebutante, because those girls seem to wear nothing but Louboutins. I spend far too much time lusting after them on the Neiman Marcus website. These are my current favorite. Simple. Chic. Endlessly wearable. But $695. Through some magic of the Internet, please be mine!

Number four would have to be Lady Gaga concert tickets. I love her music and the whole message that she sends to her fans, and I would absolutely adore the opportunity to see her live in concert. My concert budget is one of the first things I had to get rid of when I made major spending cutbacks, and I miss going to concerts and shows so much.

The fifth thing is a Burberry trench. I really love Burberry, and their trenches are absolutely gorgeous. And absolutely, obscenely, disgustingly expensive. But I knew someone freshman year that had a Burberry trench, and I drooled over it every time she wore it. Again, once I'm older and making money, it'll be another thing that I'll (hopefully) be able to afford for myself. Sigh.

The last, and most important, is this. A signed first edition of my favorite book in the world, Gone With the Wind. It's currently on sale for the measly little price of $11,500. This is something that I will probably want for the rest of my life, and if I'm very, very lucky, may someday be financially stable enough to make the investment in. I'd really love any first edition, but a signed one would really be one of the most amazing things ever. Sigh. A girl can dream, right?

Well, I know it's a short list, and there are many more things, but I have a midterm tomorrow (the third in three days) so I suppose I should stop procrastinating (read: stop going through the Louboutins again) and study!

A Tough One

This has been one of the worst weekends for me, personally, that I've ever had.

And it's only Saturday.

I haven't been outside in two days, even though today was gorgeous and pretty warm (from what weather.com told me).

I've eaten very little and spoken in person to no one but my suitemate (who left yesterday afternoon for home), my RA (in the elevator) and the Domino's delivery guy.

Why the hermit-like behavior, you ask?

Well, it didn't start out with me wanting to do this. I had Friday off from work, and I was actually planning on getting a bunch of stuff done. But I woke up feeling worse than I have in years. I don't get sick, ever, but when I do, I get very sick. I had the flu. I was throwing up, had a horrible headache...the whole bit. I did nothing but nap, watch TV, and drink orange juice.

This, of course, was not how I like spending a day. But I figured I would make it up to myself today, and go uptown, maybe to a museum. I haven't been to the Met in a while, and I like to go a few times each semester. Plus, I always feel like I'm cheating myself when I don't take advantage of living in Manhattan, so this was going to be my payback.

So I got up this morning, did my laundry, and prepared for a good day. I still wasn't feeling 100% healthy, but I'm lucky in that I recover from illnesses fast, and I was pretty confident that I would be up to a trip uptown.

But then I checked my email.

The RA position that I had applied for, been through training for, dreamed about, planned activities for already? Yeah. I didn't get it.

Needless to say, I was heartbroken.

This RA position was what I had been putting all of my hopes on. NYU is an obscenely expensive school, far too expensive for me, and the housing and dining grant that comes with the RA position was going to be my way of continuing my education here. And it's not even all about the money. I was looking forward to being able to be an influence on kids just starting at NYU, to helping people, to giving something back to the ResLife system that has done pretty well by me.

Technically, I didn't get denied. I'm on their "alternate list" which means that they "think I would make a fine staff member, but couldn't offer me a position at this time". But it feels like a rejection.

It's especially hard because everyone else I've heard from that also went through the RALI process got offered positions. So I don't know what I did or didn't do that made the difference.It's also really hard because most of the people that I know that have been offered positions don't really need it. I know that they want to do it, and I'm sure they're going to be great RAs, but this position, for me, was going to mean so much, in terms of whether or not I can even be here next year.

I'm really at a loss right now as to what I'm going to do next year. I really hope I can figure something out that will allow me to stay at NYU, but if I don't, I don't know what I'm going to be doing come fall.

So anyway, I called my mother, spoke briefly to Richie, and then put my pajamas back on. I ordered Domino's (I'm a stress eater- I crave carbs especially when I'm really anxious- and did you know that Domino's will bring you chicken alfredo in a bread bowl?), sat down in front of the TV, and watched Mythbusters for hours. I'm currently watching The Incredibles. And I have no shame about it.

I feel like every step of the college process for me has been such a struggle. From senior year of high school, making the decision to mortgage my future on an NYU education; to freshman year, with the intense struggles with friends and my own anxieties; to working so hard to make it back this year, and having every penny I earn go right back to NYU...I feel like I ought to be due for some kind of good fortune. Does working so hard for this education make me appreciate it more than the kids who are able to have their parents just write a check for their tuition balances? Of course. But sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. I see these kids with their $3000 computers, $500 bags, and that go to Zurich for their sweet sixteens and Berlin for nineteenth birthdays (no lie, these people exist) and I just wish that they would recognize that their complaints about how their moms "only let me get an apartment if it was, like, less than ten grand a month, it's, like, so not fair, you know?" are ridiculous.

Sigh.

So I really hope tomorrow doesn't get worse. Because really, I can't take any more at this point. How about giving me a good day, universe? Please?

Clean socks are a godsend.

This semester I'm taking a course focused on Human Rights (which has nothing to do with my major, but such is the life of an LSP student) and it got me thinking about all the things that I take for granted that I don't even think about, until they're taken away/returned.

For instance:

• A door. Yesterday F&CM came to replace the hallway door. It had been sticking all year, and Michelle finally decided that we should get it fixed. It was SO weird to leave yesterday morning and not have a door to shut behind me. But the fact that I now have a door that functions perfectly is wonderful.
• My own room. I shared a room with my brother for a long time, and was so excited to get my own when we put the second floor on our house. Then I came to college and learned to share a room again. I can make the best of really any situation, and I didn't mind having a roommate, but there's something beautiful about having my own space to think and sing and talk to myself and have a random underwear dance party that is just amazing. And this is definitely going to be the most space I'll ever have to myself while living in NYC.
• Money in the bank. I'm not talking big money here, but it's nice to know that I can use my debit card for something other than getting the gunk out from under my fingernails. Seriously, the times when I can't even afford a MetroCard are the worst.
• A phone. I'm not one of those people that's addicted to their iPhone or Blackberry, but back in December I was without a phone for about a week (due to problems with switching my service to AT&T). It was horrendous. I don't realize how important a phone really is for everything I do until I didn't have one. Also, I think my thumbs started to atrophy from disuse.
• Clean laundry. I am the queen of putting off laundry. It's a pain, it's expensive (okay, I know I spend twice as much on a burrito as I do on laundry, but it's the principle of the thing), it takes forever, and I despise folding clothes and putting them away. Once it gets down to the wire, I find myself wearing some pretty ridiculous combinations of clothes/wearing the same pair of jeans four days in a row. But I eventually just bite the bullet and do it. And then it's like heaven. It's wonderful to look in my closet and see so many options, instead of the sweater that's stretched out and has that weird stain and that I only wear as a last resort and today is last resort day.
• Waterproof boots. It sounds weird, but living in Upstate New York, I never really worried about having waterproof footwear for winter. After the age of about ten, my outside time consisted of the time it took to walk from the car to whatever building I was headed to and back (I loved snow as a kid, but then I realized that instead of going outside and freezing my fingers off, I could stay inside reading a book and drinking cocoa [thus my middle-school extreme nerdiness and fatness]). But once I got to college and started walking everywhere, I realized that waterproof footwear was a gift from the gods on high. I have the best boots ever: warm, fuzzy, good traction, and not ghastly to look at (plus they were cheap! Go KMart!). And now my toes stay nice and snuggly all day long, no matter how much slush I encounter.
• Contacts. Oh yeah. These babies are awesome. As jealous as I am of my friends that can just wake up in the morning and see, I love the fact that I have an excuse to wear fun styles of glasses and contacts. I wear colored contacts (my eyes are green anyway, but these contacts make them ridiculously green, to the point that strangers sometimes stop me on the street to compliment them). But the downside of contacts is that itchy feeling you get when they're too old and need to be replaced. That's the point my contacts are currently at. I can't wear them for more than a few hours before I start wanting to rip the suckers off of my eyeballs. But I'm holding out, because I know the new contacts feeling is the best ever.
• I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of them at this point. Maybe I'll update this post later!

I Hate Money

I really do. It's the worst. It's always on my mind, I'm always worrying about it. I knew that it would be an issue when I decided to come to one of the most expensive schools in the nation, but honestly. This is ridiculous.

I check my bank balance more than any normal individual should. I know exactly, down to the penny, how much a 20-oz. soda costs at Walgreens, Duane Reade, Food Emporium, Space Market, and CVS (my caffeine habit is my guilty pleasure...SO guilty, but oh so good). I buy books for class at the last possible second and spend hours searching for better deals online. I just spent four dollars to do my laundry, and I was honestly contemplating going another week with just the clothes I've got left in order to put off paying (once I run out of socks and underwear, though, I draw the line). I hate being a poor college student. I really hope that I'll be able to get through college pretty well and then find myself a job that'll allow me to not worry about bills and emergencies and overdrafts 24/7 and actually be able to afford little pleasures (like SHOES). But considering I still don't really have defined career goals, I'm not sure if that'll happen.

Sigh.

Anyway, on to more interesting topics.

This weekend was a relatively quiet one. It was far too cold to think about venturing out and actually doing something, so I stayed in both nights (well, I went over to Richie's on Friday, but that doesn't really count). On Saturday, Richie and Jayson came over to my place. We had a movie night and a sleepover. The first film we watched was "Paranormal Activity". I don't know if you know about this movie, but seriously, don't watch it. I'm a huge baby when it comes to horror movies, and I got so scared that I start shaking and crying...it's not a pretty situation. Luckily, both of the boys understand this and I had one of them on either side of me...just in case the demons decided to come get me. It was terrifying when, partway through one of the scariest scenes, my suitemate came in. When I heard the door, I was convinced that it was a ghost coming in to attack me. Don't laugh. It was scary!

Well as I sat on the couch, crying and sniffling after the movie ended, Richie quickly put on "Up". I hadn't seen it before, and while I think I would've enjoyed it more if I had been in a good state of mind at the beginning, I got into it fairly quickly and ended up really enjoying it. I don't really watch many animated movies (I grew up in Disney's golden age of animation, and I don't like CGI as much) but this one was really well-done and pretty poignant. I like that it was the kind of film that kids as well as adults could enjoy. The music was excellent, as well (I think it won a few Grammys).

Sunday was a really quiet day. I'm going through the RALI process in order to be an RA next year, and I had my first session at 1:00. I was pretty nervous (I'm an anxious person to begin with, and stuff like this is always quite nerve-racking for me) but it actually went well, I think. I do well in groups, and there was a point where we had to role-play mediation situations (I have to admit, I used a little of my psych knowledge as well as my own personal experiences with mediation on this one) and I think I did quite well. I've still got two papers to write, homework, another group session, and an individual interview to do, though...so let's hope everything turns out well!

Today's been okay...I was reminded when talking to a friend in Italian of just how great my job is (really, I get paid $11/hr to have a place to do my homework and read the news, and in return all I have to do is deliver and sort mail, make copies, sign for packages, and provide office supplies). I don't have a 9:30 AM class tomorrow (my professor had a death in the family, which is terribly sad, but I certainly appreciate being able to sleep in) so I plan on getting a LOT of sleep tonight and hopefully getting some homework done that I've got for Wednesday. Here's to it!